This…is Merlin.
- Hello.
Yesterday Merlin got fired.
- Wait, what?
Did Merlin cast a 4th Level Firestorm and level the place?
- Alakazam!
No, but locks should probably be changed. Forgot to buy Kevlar too. AMP energy drinks, years-worth of pent-up aggression, and a lifetime of failure is a dangerous mix. Caution best practice. Best to fear Merlin Mix.
- Fear this
Second job in row for Merlin to get the ax now. Second bag of Merlin Mix to fear. Might suggest three times makes a trend, but with Merlin two is enough. Probably best for Merlin to relocate to magical place where irritating behavior, dickish comments, were-hair, bottomless synthetic energy, stupid baby-hating, spousal-avoidance tickets, incompetent work habits, and exceptional wall-building ability are welcome.
- Some place like this
Nevertheless, Merlin is gone. And without Merlin, time is spent pondering things. Things like:
How many energy drinks does one need to sit on one’s ass all day?
How many donettes can one buy without a source of income?
How will Merlin afford to attend DragonCon?
- This shit ain’t free you know
How will Merlin complete his Magic the Gathering card set? (Wyverns are going for a steep price these days don’t you know)
How many orcs will lose their lives at the hands of an angry Merlin?
And, of course, who will be next behind the Wall?
- Poor bastard almost made it
Facebook helps to shed some light. Instead of questioning Merlin’s many poor decisions, Merlin instead spending time at computer recruiting Battlemasters to repel oncoming Hordes. (Merlin’s words, not mine) Hope Battlemasters realize Merlin’s best spell is Failure.
One man foreign to failure is David Hasselhoff who once sung a song titled Looking For Freedom atop the Berlin Wall. It soon became the anthem for the movement to tear it down. Doesn’t seem right to tear down the Merlin wall without him.
Looking for Freedom, David? I think I’ve found it.
–Jack
